A beginning of a rewrite

This is an attempt to de-villainize the Gods and more importantly, to simplify things a bit. Certain spots of the current backstory are very convoluted and either need to be completely rewritten or omitted for the sake of readability. I want non-native english speakers to have a chance to understand at least most of the backstory; to me, it makes simplicity more important than astounding depth. The story depth can come in the form of illustrated stories, which I feel should be another collaborative writing project for this game. The current backstory is little more than a glorified list of events / timeline.. I'd like to develop TMW graphic novels (for the web of course, not print) or at least illustrated short stories, to supply the players with something more character driven to read.

The idea of a visual storyline sounds great, it depends on a really clear and simple story line as you said. Perhaps after the story sections are finished people can make contacts with members of the webcomic community for support. Also what about (and this is somewhat unlikely) roleplayers act out scenes of the history in a video format. I wholeheartedly agree that some of the story line is very convoluted and needs major editing. When you say you want more simple writing I'm hoping you are referring to the story elements and not necessarily the style of writing as while simple writing is certainly more readable it is also less engaging. A fine balance needs to be set between the two and the intended audience needs to be determined (I'm not sure that there is an intended audience set for the game age-wise). Writing for ESL readers seems to be an unfortunate waste of talent. You end of with mediocre writing for two audiences instead of good writing for one audience and hard to read writing for another. I would recommend rather than dumbing down the writing for ESL readers we entice the rather large foreign language community to translate the finished work into their own language with the aid, if needed, of the primary English writers. Booty 08:09, 15 June 2008 (CEST)

That is another point to focus on; characters. Events of the Modern era should speak more often of individuals than the Prehistory.

I agree with this. Good story lines always are built around strong central figures.Booty 08:09, 15 June 2008 (CEST)

Keep in mind that the prehistory is referred to as such because of a catastrophe that separates it from the modern era. One result of this catastrophe was a mass loss of knowledge and information. Society had to start over after the year 0.. an important part of modern society will be archeology and a search for answers. Different people will have different beliefs about the world, the Gods, etc..

In dealing with archaeology and prehistory, prehistory refers to a regions history before written records. Prehistory begins at different points around the world for humans. I feel doubtful that even with a catastrophe and loss of civilization that the entire mana world would stop record keeping or lose all records of history. Rather than referring to it as prehistory it needs to be referred to as pre[event] giving it a clear point in time.Booty 08:09, 15 June 2008 (CEST)

Dabe:Sounds logical enough to me.

Some things that are still missing:

The Sun and The Moon.

Explanation to the death / respawn sequence.

A ancient map of what the world used to look like, when it was all one continent; if you want to draw this, please use the landmass shape in the logo for TMW.

Modern History, but I want to get the Prehistory settled upon before we move on to that.

Please read the following and submit feedback and also keep in mind that this is a work in progress.

Prehistory

The prehistoric era begins with the presumed creation of the universe and ends upon a catastrophic note. The modern era begins after this catasrophe. In relation to the modern calender, no one knows how much time passed during the prehistoric era; the major difference between prehistoric and modern events is the date, or lack thereof. Unlike our real life Gregorian calender, there is a 'year zero' between the prehistoric and modern eras. It is assumed that the dates of some events are exact while others are approximations. If we ever apply dates to prehistoric events, we will probably use a typical numberline-style, as previously mentioned, to include a year zero. Terminology is another point to discuss. Do people refer to prehistoric years as, "X years before zero"..? ..or alternatively, should we could retain the BC/AD terminology and simply redefine the acronyms to suit our needs. (for example: BC might mean "before the catastrophe" .. AD could be something like "after the devastation") This would be tacky, but would keep things familiar.

The current accepted terminology in the scientific publications is BCE and CE or Before Current Era and Current Era since the current era in mana world is referred to a modern why not just use BME and ME. AD is really avoided these days because of the religious connections. Booty 08:55, 15 June 2008 (CEST)

Dabe:I could get used to BME / ME .. any better name ideas for "year 0"..?

Really BME and ME are just suggestions based on the current Mana terminology for periods. Year 0 is really lousy sounding, it should be named or focused on the event that took place. No suggestions for that yet I haven't gotten that far in the history yet. Booty 22:45, 22 June 2008 (CEST)

Epoch is the correct terminology. Wiktionary Wikipedia Examples (for reference dates, Wikipedia). What the actual event is I'll leave to you. — Jaxad0127 03:06, 23 June 2008 (CEST)

No one knows with any level of certainty, how the universe began. The oldest known beings are the Gods, but even they do not know how it all started, or even the details to their own origins. Some of those with knowledge of the Gods believe that they and the universe have simply always existed; a theory which the Gods at least accept as plausible. Each God's earliest memory is one of aimless wandering, about an empty universe. At that time, the Gods were not only unaware of one another, but also of their own potential and significance. After wandering for an unknown period of time, they suddenly met at the very center of the universe, where they each became fixated around a mysterious point of energy. They named this energy 'Mana'. The Gods studied together and became enlightened, attaining full understanding of the flow of Elements which bound them together. Through this understanding, they learned to respect the potential and the dangers of Mana.

My rewrite suggestions: How the universe began is uncertain, even to the Gods. The Gods are the oldest known beings of the universe and are ignorant of even their own creation. Their earliest memories comprise of aimless wandering in a vast empty universe where, for a time, they had no knowledge of each other or even their own power and ability. This timeless wandering came to an abrupt end when the Gods were simultaneously drawn to a mysterious point of energy in the center of the universe. The Gods became fixated and studied together this energy they named Mana and by studying the unending flow from energy of Mana the they realized that the flow bound all each God to all others. The Gods further realized that they naturally fed on this raw, forceful energy and converted into stable, "elemental" energy. In their research the Gods came to a conclusion that Mana needs to be respected both for its potential and its danger. Booty 22:45, 22 June 2008 (CEST) [old comment] I had to stop here. I'm not sure what "them" refers to in "bound them together". Booty 08:55, 15 June 2008 (CEST)

Dabe:That's a nice change.. and "them" = the Gods. For the next attempt, let's try to explain it like, "the Gods are bound together by the unending flow of Mana energy, emanating from the center of the universe. The Gods naturally absorb Mana and convert it to Elemental energy.

The description of the nature of Mana energy and elemental energy needs more polish or correction. If somebody has a better handle on the nature of the energy please replace the wording with more appropriate descriptors. Booty 22:45, 22 June 2008 (CEST)

the Age of Creation

The Gods created Gaea, the world, in the spot where they met; at the center of the universe. It was built for three reasons; first as a testament to their friendship, second as a platform for further creations and third (and most importantly), as a means of sealing Mana. At the time of its creation, Gaea was simply a set of four Elemental realms. The Gods planned to fill these realms with living creatures, but first they had to figure out how to create life. Though their first creatures were impressive, they all eventually grew dangerously powerful, due mostly to their unlimited lifespans. The Gods were able to destroy some of these early creations, but ..

A) use a set of recognizable, mythological creatures, such as Behemoth, Dragon, Kraken, etc..

B) use completely original, fictional names and concepts for each of these creatures.

C) use a combination of recognizable and original.

As a group, these creatures became known as..

A) Beasts

B) Titans

..(insert suggestion)

The first mortals eventually became the foundation to the kingdom of Animal; they were called Amorph, Bird, Fish, Insect, Mammal, Myconoid and Reptile.

Satisfied with the trial-run, the Gods proceeded to design a vast assortment of animals, using the originals as templates.

Gaea was brimming with life, but the Gods still had an insatiable urge to create. With space for new creations running low, they began to argue over what to make next.

After stewing over the problem for quite a while, the Gods decided that with such a vast universe, that it would be more interesting to create new worlds, instead of continually redesigning Gaea.

The Gods prized the Animals, but were not confident in their ability to exercise intelligent judgment, in case of any unforeseen emergency. Not wanting to leave Gaea (and Mana) unattended, the Gods created the Espers; Ifriton, Sparron, Talpan and Tritan.

The Gods spent time training the Espers, to act in their stead. The Espers reached a form of enlightenment, comparable to that of the Gods. They were taught about Mana and its universal significance. The Gods ordered the Espers never to attempt to seek out Mana, going so far as to restrict travel through the very central part of the world. It is covered by an inhospitable mountain-range and referred to as "the forbidden zone"..

"the forbidden zone" is just a temporary name .. I just wanted to drive the point across. Suggestions?

Satisfied with their protective measures, the Gods depart, leaving Gaea for the first time since it's creation.

the Dawn of Society

Under the knowledgeable care of the Espers, Gaea remains in perfect ecological harmony. Everything was going well until the Espers began to feel bored and lonely. Observing the animals, it seemed to the Espers that a possible key to avoiding boredom might be a limited lifespan. The animals were made to mate and multiply, which seemed to be a possible answer to loneliness.

Wishing nothing more than to end their sorrow, but not wanting to disturb the Gods, the Espers take it upon themselves to modify their own design. Each Esper split, forming new male and female incarnations. The Espers, now mortal like the animals, must procreate to survive.

The Espers flourish as mortals. Each race calls a particular area of Gaea its homeland. It is from these homelands that the races expand, until civilization covers the world. For a long time, there are only the four races, still upholding the namesake of the original Espers.

The races gradually interbreed, eventually creating four new races, called Sprites; Arboren, Glacean, Orelon and Raijen.

the Age of Ancients

The Gods have been gone for a thousand years and Gaea is still doing well, though it has changed considerably. Espers and Sprites have maintained a peaceful society for many generations. Collectively, their knowledge has increased, but they have lost touch with the Gods' teachings. Though the forbidden zone has still never been breeched, it is now merely a superstition that keeps everyone away. Instead of it being the Gods' law, passed down through the generations, it has been reduced a fear of bad luck. Unfortunately, bad luck would not be enough to keep everyone away, forever.

the Rise of Azerel

Few facts exist regarding Azerel's origin; it is unknown to which race he belonged. That information has been long lost and remains a great source of speculation, amongst modern day historians. We know that Azerel was a traveler and that many of those who had encountered him, considered him to be mentally imbalanced. He was driven by an idea, which many found to be anti-social and violent. His goal in life was to create a new form of entertainment, which he called 'Battle'.. The concept revolved around the spectacle of various creatures attempting to damage and even destroy each other. The idea was completely unpalatable to the ancient civilization and was never well-received. Having traveled the entire world in search of an audience and finding only criticism and rejection, Azerel became bitter and angry toward society. The only idea that he felt passion for had been denounced by everyone. The more time passed, the angrier he became, until one day, he vowed to force his idea upon the world.

Feeling unwelcome within society, Azerel withdrew to the only place that had not yet been populated; the forbidden zone. It was upon the area's tallest mountain which he chose to build his lair. Unbeknownst to Azerel, this mountain happened to lie directly at the center of the world; which I'm sure you recall, is also the center of the universe.

While constructing his tower, he began to sense an unknown power deep beneath the mountain, so he began to tunnel downward. It took quite a while, but Azerel finally discovered Mana. Immediately giving in to curiosity, Azerel thrust his arm into the strange energy and was instantly transformed, becoming the first Demon.

Harnassing this power, Azerel proceeded to transform others in this manner; these are the forefathers of today's Demon society. Few go willingly. The passive society is simply helpless to resist. After swiftly taking control of the world, some actually begin to support him. In an effort to strenghten his grip on society, Azerel decided to gather an inner circle, so he began combing the world for candidates. At the end of his search, he found himself in the company of eight of the most powerful mortals in the world, who were each unquestionably loyal to him.

What do we call these people.. Azerel's Generals? The Eight Devils of such-and-such? (reference to Ninja Scroll).. Suggestions?

Jan 29, 2008

Thanks for the tip Crush. I'll post proposed changes to this area from now on.

Okay, I suggest that a fifth element be added: Life or Aether, just because it seems like it would improve the complexity of the legend to have the number 5 rather than 4, although the lot would be fine without it, it's just a suggestion.

Also, the Wiki contains grammatical and logical errors, one of which being that the combined power of mankind finally rivals that of the gods both before the gods sleep, and after they awaken. Also, the names of the elemental races should be explained before the part where the names are relied upon to know what's going on, such as the part where the races speak to god. It's not clear what's going on, because the races haven't yet been revealed to have those names.

Also, it's never explained that the elemental proto-humans melded into one species during The Age of Ancient Mankind, though it becomes evident that somehow there is just the one non-elemental human race left when there is no futher mention of the elemental races in either the Wiki, or the race selection of the game. Also I've not seen any other races in the game. ^_^ I just think it should be stated that they blended into one race.

Thanks, Kemrin H.

The 'elemental races' are listed elsewhere on the wiki: http://wiki.themanaworld.org/index.php/Creatures#Mankind (they're called pure races here). They aren't in game because that system hasn't been implement yet (though we do have some sprites for it). — Jaxad0127 04:18, 30 January 2008 (CET)

Thank you, that's actually fairly illuminating. So they're going to be implemented eventually then? I had been under the assumption that they melded together. Having multiple races would be nice though. Can I suggest a race of Sprites, too? They were my favorite race in SoM, and I'd like to see them crop up here, too. :) —Kemrin 06:08, 30 January 2008 (CET)